I love you (let’s break up)

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One thing that has always fascinated me is the cruelty of love and relationships. Falling in love is essentially like becoming an addict, falling out of love is like having the thing you cared about most in the world die. Somewhere in between, you realize that love isn’t black and white. It’s a painful lesson and with complete certainty one you have to learn on your own. No one can tell you your love isn’t lasting, you’ve got to figure that out on your own. In my own trek through the romantic wilderness I’ve met so many people in loving relationships who just weren’t completely satisfied. In other words, the “I love you- but I want to see other people” phenomenon. I’m convinced at this point that most people experience this at least once in life, somewhere between the ages of 16-25. You fall madly in love with someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Ignorance, or maybe you’re ahead of the curve, but you find that despite their utter perfection you justaren’t ready yet.

So what the fuck?

This was always one of the most difficult questions for me to answer, and it still is. You love someone, you should be with them. But the second you can admit to yourself that you aren’t done dating/fucking/flirting/exploring is the second that you have to admit to yourself that your relationship has an expiration date. Whether or not it shall be picked up later doesn’t matter. Staying with someone simply out of love seems reasonable, but it’s not how relationships work. A relationship requires two people who want to be together. If the rules of that relationship state you can see other people (note: open relationships) all the better. If they don’t, and you want to explore, you’re in for a shit storm of a downfall.

I love you, let’s break up.

But Lorelei, there will always be more people to date. New vaginas to fuck. New cocks to screw. When do you know when enough is enough, even if that urge is still there?

Honestly, no idea. And that’s the rough part. Each time you enter a relationship and subsequently fall in love you are tying yourself to another human being with the complete possibility that you’ll have to rip that connection apart. And that is the risk you take falling in love, dating, and putting yourself into a relationship. Is it going to last? Possibly. Do you want it to last? Possibly. Are you done dating? Wait and find out.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Alexa says:

    Where does the potential for an open relationship fall into this for you personally, just out of curiosity?

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    1. suggestivetongue says:

      I’m open to openness, but right now I’m enjoying the one on one. I don’t think I could ever be in a completely “open” relationship where we just did whatever we wanted all the time. Not that I have anything against it, I just can’t see myself enjoying that as much. I enjoy a certain amount of routine and stability in the way things are. I do want to experience some sort of threesome/moresome/couple swapping at some point. If I liked it I could see it being something I wanted to do from time to time with the right people. That’s pretty much my thoughts on it right now, but I change my mind pretty often 🙂

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  2. Speaking for myself, about four years ago (I’m 35) I just started feeling differently about these things. This change continues and is ongoing. At a certain, the scale just tilted toward one person’s arms and away from as much pussy as possible.

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  3. franku says:

    “I love you- but I want to see other people“ phenomenon.

    Sometimes also known as the “I love you- but I’m already screwing five other people. so..“ phenomenon. Often comes right after you’ve figured that out for yourself.

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  4. I never looked at it that way. Great stuff. Thanks

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