There is a troubling disconnect between sexual education and reality. I’ve spent the last 5 or so years considering what my ideal sexual education would have looked like. Information about barrier contraceptives and hormones, STDs and the importance of sexuality is invaluable, but you’d go a few steps beyond that.
I think if you’re going to teach kids about sex you are doing them a severe disservice by excluding these core elements:
3. Mutual-pleasure and exploration
When we don’t tell kids (particularly women, who typically do a lot more fumbling around to find their hot spots then men) that many people have sex because it feels good we’re leading them into a troubling area. Where “is sex supposed to hurt?” becomes a valid question. Where “what is a clitoris?” is an anatomical question and not a central point of a larger sexual dialogue.
Without conversations about masturbation young men and women learn that pleasure is something that other people are supposed to give them, not something that they can seek for themselves.
To me, sexual education does not begin until we are open about why people have sex, and why they might want to have sex at some point too.
Do you feel that pleasure should be included in sexual education? Why or why not? How might your sex life be different now if you had learned about masturbation? Pleasure? Self-respect within a relationship?