Bad Feminism: I Can Have It All

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Bad Feminism is the idea that no woman can be the perfect feminist and that there is, in fact, no such thing as a perfect feminist. Believing that there are right or wrong ways to be a good feminist only acts to put women on pedestals which they are, later, violently yanked from. I celebrate my bad feminism. It is humanizing. I think and feel things that often don’t feel very feminist. I feel that critiquing that thought process is feminist. So, I mean, everything kind of evens out in the end.

Lately I’ve decided that I can have it all. This is a direct result of figuring out what I want to have in the first place.

(IF) I have decided what I want my life to look like!

(THEN) Everything will look exactly like that!

This isn’t a strictly female problem, but it is stereotypically and historically a women’s issue.

I imagine all things in perfect balance. Life, love, sex, friendship, laughing, crying, working, playing. In reality, I often give too much in one place, and find imbalance in another. It’s a constant process of making adjustments to get it just right. Sometimes it all comes together and looks the way I want it to in my head, in my fantasyland. Sometimes only parts of the puzzle make it together.

The lesson is that the life you ought to find is one that FEELS complete even if sometimes it LOOKS incomplete.

Our life is just a series of moments and you can choose to focus on what parts didn’t look exactly like you wanted them to  or you can focus on just how amazing it all is anyways.

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