If you want to have a healthy long-term relationship, find relationship mentors. A relationship mentor can be anyone who has a relationship that you admire. A relationship mentor can be someone who you feel has a similar lifestyle to you. The age of the mentor doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if they are same sex or opposite sex or monogamous or poly.
Imagine two rivers.
In one river you’re swimming along with other fish that swim the same pace you do. You all like to talk about the same fish things. In another river you’re swimming along but some fish are swimming really fast and some fish are swimming really slow and some fish are on crack. You’re kind of a sad fish because you’re swimming alone and can’t relate to other fish.
In this scenario I like to find other fish who enjoy absurd comparisons.
Finding people who are going through the same thing you’re going through, and finding people you admire, can help you grow. When you talk to other people about what they’re experiencing you learn to better gauge your own experiences. Our perception of normal is so biased because people often don’t share what they’re going through with anyone else. In truth, we all share a lot of the same fears and the same dreams.
When you talk to other people about what is real and true to you, what you’re really doing is adding to your emotional toolkit. Spending time around couples you really admire can help you learn to replicate some of the things that worked for them. It can also make you feel like you’re a part of a community. These are your fish.
Do you have a relationship mentor? Do you rock out on double dates? Let me know in the comments how double dating has influenced your dating life.
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